Pregnancy is hard. This much I know.
I know a lot of moms are going to disagree with me because they did not experience pregnancy the way I did and that’s okay. The wonderful part about life if that our experiences are all different. This is the story of my body and my truth. I hope there are mothers out there who will also identify with my struggles. After all, every pregnancy is different and both of my little ones gave me challenges to work through.
First Off, We Are Blessed
My husband and I were very blessed to have the opportunity to bring new life into this world not once but twice. Every day my little peanuts grew inside of me and I was able to feel their every movement and occasionally see their very active ways. Beautiful right? Women get so excited when they find out they are going to become a mother. You are actually beyond excited. The joy you feel can’t be put into words because you have probably dreamed of this moment ever since you said your “I Do’s”, and likely long before that. Bringing new life into this world is an amazing experience. For me, I’m just not sure I would call it beautiful. A few weeks into your pregnancy … and here comes the drama.
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A Perfect Pregnancy?
You see, pregnant women in movies look all pretty and perfect with their perfect pregnancies and perfect figures. Let’s not forget it is all staged to look that way. The real thing is actually quite different. When the director yells cut, the actress likely took off her pillow and went to the bar for a dirty martini. Here is the truth: some women do have textbook perfect pregnancies and the rest of us, well we experience hell here on earth.
I know some of you are thinking “How can you say that? You have two beautiful daughters!” I do and I love them more than life itself and would do it again if I had to but that does not mean I enjoyed being pregnant. Who enjoys being sick as much as I was? Morning sickness, that’s the first lie they tell you. For me, (and a lot of other women) it was all day sickness. There is nothing beautiful about having your head in the commode all day. What makes it even more disgusting is that most of the time the commode your head is in is not your own. Think about how disgusting that is. Here you are coughing up the toast or crackers you ate that morning in a commode a hundred of people have probably sat on that day. Definitely not the experience the TV shows share with you.
It doesn’t stop at vomiting. Let’s throw stretch marks into the mix, nothing beautiful about those either. Watching your skin stretch and expand to the point that you start looking like a tiger with all of your stripes, permanently disfigured all in the name of pregnancy. Not beautiful.
Then there is using the commode again; only this time what it was designed for. Having to go to the restroom every 30 minutes because your baby is sitting on your bladder is less than desirable and rather inconvenient. Being pregnant and trying to balance yourself and hold your dress in a tiny stall is not easy. The bigger you get the harder it gets. I can’t find the beauty in that either.
Next, there is the bloating and swelling. Sometimes your feet grow to twice their size. So now all of the beautiful shoes you have no longer fit because your foot went up a size (or two).
The headaches, God the headaches are awful. Nothing triggers them and they pop out of nowhere and all you can take is Tylenol. It sounds like an alarm is going off in your head and it won’t turn off. It just hurts for hours at a time. All you can do is lay there because it’s uncomfortable to do anything else.
The cramping which is an odd pain which comes from nowhere.
The heartburn is also crazy.
This all happens, maybe not to everyone but it does to some women. Every woman is different, some really enjoy being pregnant and then you have people like me that just wanted it to be over.
So What is Beautiful?
So what’s so beautiful about pregnancy you ask? The delivery and the process of actually bringing new life into this world, that’s beautiful. In those moments, you forget everything you went through in the preceding nine months and it all becomes worth it when the doctor places that beautiful baby on your chest. All of the pain and all of the complaining, you forget it all the moment your eyes connect with theirs.
To tell you the truth, I will likely never do it again but I certainly don’t regret the two times I gave it a chance because the end result was worth every bit of pain and torture I experienced.
Every smile, hug, laugh, kiss and “I love you,” makes it all worth it.
Rikkia Lillard is a Florida native and has now called Iowa home for five years. She is a married mother of two, three if you count her ten year old dog. She loves, reading, writing and crafting. In her spare time she does Event Planning and is also a playwright.